Home » Ooey Gooey Christmas Goodness » “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” Analyzed

“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” Analyzed

My regular day-to-day, 9-to-5 job is data analysis. This skill has helped me immensely especially when it comes to writing these blogs. Therefore, I thought I would pull on that skill once again to do a real world analysis of one of our most beloved Santa Clause-based songs, “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer”. If you don’t know the song, check it out here (as sung by one of my favorite groups “The Temptations”):

So now let’s analyze this stanza by stanza.


Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glow


If I ever saw this phenomenon, I probably would say that it glows… but I’m sure I wouldn’t JUST say that it glows, I’d probably be yelling to everyone and anyone who would listen that I saw a mutant reindeer with a red glowing radioactive nose.


All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games


So basically, the other reindeer were jerks to poor Rudolph with the red glowing radioactive nose. I would almost ask the question “What grade are we in?” but then again we are talking about reindeer… who aren’t human… and don’t go to school…


Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
“Rudolph with your nose so bright
Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”


It’s funny how Santa was never mentioned as keeping order when the other reindeer were laughing and calling young Rudolph names… but I digress. It seems that, at this point, there was an impossible situation happening that could only be solved by making the most hated of the reindeer group the leader of those who hated him.

Additionally, being that Santa asked a question, shouldn’t that line be “Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to ASK”???


Then all the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
You’ll go down in history


First and foremost, reindeer are not only jerks, but they’re superficial jerks. They hated Rudolph for his disability, then all of a sudden they loved him when they figured that he could provide a service to them. Moral of the story, fake friends have no problem using YOUR talents for their benefit. Get some REAL friends.

Also notice that Santa asked the question “Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”, but it never mentions whether or not Rudolph answered “Yes”. We automatically assume that Rudolph said “yes”, because of the gleeful reaction of the other reindeer… but I theoretically submit to you that:

  1. Perhaps Rudolph didn’t say “yes” and the other reindeer were happy that Rudolph wasn’t leading them ANYWHERE with that radioactive bio-hazard snout of his.
  2. Perhaps Rudolph didn’t say “yes” and the other reindeer were happy that Rudolph stood up to Santa Claus… who could have been the tyrant of the North Pole region (and we just didn’t know it).
  3. Perhaps Rudolph didn’t say “yes” because REINDEER DON’T TALK. Ergo, Rudolph wouldn’t have answered Santa in the first place.

Either way, those three reasons are a pretty good reason to go down in history.

(after all… we still sing this song to this day… pretty historical to me)


DISCLAIMER: As a Christian, I don’t believe in Santa Claus as the figure that shows up magically and does magical things once a year. I DO, however, believe in Nikolaos of Myra, who actually did live in what is now modern day Turkey and had a reputation for secret gift giving.

Want to learn more, check out the full story here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas

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