I know this is a blog that centers mostly around music, but I would be remissed if I did not mention one of my major sources of musical inspiration here on this blue planet we call Earth. You know the old saying “Behind every great man there is a great woman”? Well, from my perspective I can tell you that I have a great woman right behind me. My wife has not only been one of my biggest fans, but she exudes a level of love, patience, perspective, and balance that can only come from God. For all of the rehearsals, studio sessions, gigs, concerts, workshops, teaching engagements, late nights, early mornings, etc, she has been right there to support me and for that I am truly thankful.
As a musician, I’ve seen a lot of sides of the relationship scale. The good… the bad… the ugly… and everything in-between. The “good” is always great, but the “bad and ugly” sides are, unfortunately, the best teachers. It’s hard to look at “bad and ugly” as a good thing, but when it gives you the insight to know who’s got your back and who doesn’t, you can look at “bad and ugly” in a good light. It’s all necessary in order to develop real relationships as a musician. Additionally, it helps you to determine and define your “professional” relationships versus your “personal” relationships. It’s not to say that there can’t be some gray area there (because there always is), but I will say that I’ve confused the two often enough to know first hand that if the relationship goes bad it’s a hard lesson.
I’m not a relationship expert, and will never claim to be, but I will say that for the personal relationships built on “you the person” and not “you the musician”, those are the ones worth keeping because those people will tell you the loving truth… to your face… repeat it multiple times if necessary… be ready to fight if you get mad… be ready to give you a tissue if you decide to cry… and still love you afterwards. To me, those are the people worth keeping in your life. It’ll often be a very short list, but a cherished list… and who knows… you may end up marrying one of those people on that very short list… much like I did.
And to my wife… 143.
What do you think? Shared wisdom makes us all stronger.